Today, we are hosting the blog book tour for Donald A. Wilhelm’s book, This Time’s A Charm: Lessons of a Four-Time Cancer Survivor. Don has battled Hodgkin’s lymphoma for the past few years. His memoir relives each moment along the way. Having gone through some of the same experiences with my late wife, I related to many of the emotions that he was feeling, and I appreciated the straightforward way that he wrote this book. It makes you laugh in places, it makes you sad in others, but most of all, it serves to inspire you. Don did not let his cancer get him down, and his positive attitude persevered. (So much, in fact, that his oncologist asked him to talk to other patients for inspiration.)
I hope that you seriously consider reading this book. For those just diagnosed with lymphoma, it offers a good primer on what to expect, and for others, it is simply a good read (and an inspiring one at that). The book is available on Amazon.
I interviewed Don last week about his book. His responses give a good glimpse of what the book is all about. Since this interview, Don has learned that his cancer has returned … for a fifth time. Please pray for him, his wife Amy, and their entire family. Here are some highlights of my interview:
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Moutray Chronicles: It was nice to read such a thorough discussion of your treatments, and it was refreshing to see you discuss your emotions with such honesty. Was there any hesitancy on your part (or from your family and friends) in discussing such personal feelings for public consumption? (I ask this, knowing that people have asked me the same about my book.)
Don: Great question Chad. The honest answer is “no.” For myself I felt that my experiences and raw emotions had to be visible to everyone who read my book. Emotions don’t happen in real life in a sensored fashion, so I wanted to stay as true as I could to them. As for my family, I simply warned them that cancer evokes very strong emotions and some things in my book may cause them to gasp at times. I ask them to glance over those parts. It’s not a children’s book, that’s for sure! ;-)
MC: You said that Dr. Jeff encouraged you to meet with other cancer patients. Do you still do this? Have you heard positive feedback from some of them about this book, and has it helped them better understand and cope with their treatments? What do you hope that others get out of this book?
Don: I still meet with fellow survivors and active patients at times. It helps me stay grounded and close to the battlefield. However, I definitely help more folks through the Interent than ever in person. I have a strong social networking presence and I hear from folks that I’ve inspired at least once a day now. It’s really a motivating factor in my life to help as many people as I can, whether or not they let me know that I did.
MC: I felt bad for you that your wife left you early on in your treatments, and your support network seemed so limited during each of your four bouts with cancer. You did not write much about your parents, and yet, I assume that they were helpful to you these past few years. What has their reaction been to this book and your newfound positive focus?
Don: Well, actually they knew very little about my struggles. I did not tell them of most of the things that I went through. This is because they are older and have health issues of their own. I didn’t want to burden them with my experiences because I could read the hurt that it brought them. No parent wants to think of their child dying before they do. As for how they view my book, they are thrilled that I went through and published it. I can actually see tears in my mother’s eyes when she talks about how my book is helping other cancer patients, survivors and their loved ones.
MC: At your lowest point, you were depressed and lonely, living alone, and partying with drugs and alcohol. Yet, you turned it around, and you attribute your current improvement on your positive attitude and better health. This is a good story, and yet, it has limits. Were you worried that you might encourage others to abandon their treatments, much to their detriment?
Don: Not really, though I did put a disclaimer in my book that I was NOT recommending that anyone attempt to take the path that I chose. At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice based on personal values and priorities. No one has to do anything they don’t want to and no one else has the right to judge them for choices made. Unless you are literally the other person, you could never purport to understand how or why they make the decisions they do.
MC: I am glad to see that you found a new life partner, someone to pursue your “finally ever afters” with. You noted that it was often hard to date women, some of whom might be apprehensive about dating a cancer survivor. Amy sounds wonderfully supportive.
Don: Amy is the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. She is genuinely interested, in fact driven, to help as many people as she can on a daily basis. When we started dating, in fact the night we met, I laid it on the table that I was a cancer survivor and may one day need further treatments. She was barely even taken aback by my bold statement. We are truly happy that we found each other and we know our paths lead us to our meeting.
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I hope that you check out Don’s book and that you continue to follow along with the tour. Tomorrow, he will be visiting my friend Gena Womack’s Make Some Lemonade blog. Gena, as you remember, participated in my blog book tour last month.